Junk Drawer

RIP Vacuum-formed Spaghetti, 2003-2015

  Vacuum-formed Spaghetti in 2003

 

Vacuum-formed Spaghetti in 2003

  Vacuum-formed Spaghetti in 2015

 

Vacuum-formed Spaghetti in 2015

Thought discarded in 2014, Vacuum-formed Spaghetti was re-discovered in early 2015 and enjoyed a brief return to view before falling on its maker's foot and breaking open against the floor on 6 December 2015.  You were an excellent sculpture, Vacuum-formed Spaghetti, and I will never forget your scent: so raunchy, so humus-y, so fittingly like death.

Parts

Parts

Spam Stalkings

Dear! 

Having trouble viewing this email?  This letter is the first step to get to know you and I need to be very honest.

I DID NOT WIN THE GUBERNATORIAL ELECTION BUT I WAS RICHLY COMPENSATED BY THE WINNER HAVING BEEN PAID IN FULL ALL I SPENT FOR THAT CAMPAIGN I DECIDED TO INVEST IT ELSE WHERE OVER SEAS IN PARTNERSHIP WITH A TRUSTED PERSON LIKE YOU.  Did you know about this?  Not sure if you got my voice mail, but I would like to meet for lunch 1pm at the Oyster Bar in GCS.  Eye drops replace glasses - I can see perfect now.  To learn more information about this… hurry, click here. No Caller ID - VM - Beethoven - CLICK.  If you don't, did you know this organism may even lead to cancer?  Not likely, not probable, not even close to realistic.

Introducing… MyShedPlan. The Ultimate Collection of 12,000 Shed Plans!  Early morning dream of you.  Are you snoring yourself to death?  I don't want a situation where this money will be used in an ungodly way.  You looked relaxed and safe and very lovely and I woke up...happy.  So if you snooze you lose.  And then you can smash your glasses to hell.  Don't be surprised when FEMA knocks on your door and demands all the food from you...  I would like you to unblock my phone number.  I recently moved in town that's why I have a different number.  You need the money more than the timeshare.

Turns out I was about 50percent right, which unfortunately also means I was about 50percent wrong...  Would you sit down and knowingly eat FOUR slices of bread?  My fat sister looks better than you.  Didn't mean to bring up images of a Freddy Krueger movie.  Lost in a sea of food storage containers?  It's insane! It's real, it's not like anything you'd expect.  I never heard back from you and I wanted to make sure we get you qualified for funding if you need it. I will wait for you at the entrance.  I am hopeless dreamer and I live by heart, I like to be myself and I can adjust to any situation.  We really appreciate you taking time out of your day to say hi to these wonderful ladies!

So what has it been?  Six months?  You might get bit pissed off, maybe even swear a little, when you see the list of fruits and vegetables that you thought were healthy.  If you want we cant text, here's my number let's chat.  No Caller ID - VM - car noise - CLICK.  I have been expecting to read from you, does it mean that you did not get my first mail to you?  You probably already have this "information", but I am sending the link, just in case.  Privatization allows the consumer a choice when registering.  I have survived 6 suicide bomb attacks by the special grace of God.  Disregard, please, and I am sorry for any confusion...  I'd like to call you tomorrow, mid-morning.   

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